Defining Nerves

Calling off 33k chips from an 88k stack in the JokerStars 200k guarantee, seeing your 88 is ahead of A9o, and then losing your net connection.

Fortunately, it wasn't down long, and I'd won the hand, and am currently 26th with about 1400 remaining from original 22k runners. Still, way to make a heart jump a beat.

3rd break in the $200k, and I'm sitting 213 of 751. Lost a nice pot just before break that would have put me in top 70. Had KQ in the big blind, and late position shoved about 34k in chips (big blind was 5k, and I had about 135k). Anyway, he had 88 and I lost the race. So I still have a bit above average chips, but my work's definitely cut out for me.

4th break in the $200k, and I'm still kicking. Just 3-bet shoved A4s from the button, and a mid-to-large stack folded. At break, I'm 122nd of 228 remaining, but a fair bit below average chips, and am in the bottom 3 stacks at table, with an M of about 6-7...sounds like Go Time.

In a major case of deja vu, one orbit into break, I 3-bet shoved A4s from the button, and the same mid-to-large stack folded. Weird.

So while I'm playing the $200k, I'd decided to play the Full Tilt Early Daily Doubles, of the $5+1 variety. Anyway, I got sucked out on to go out of ED A, but just NOW went out two spots before final table in DD B. I'd called a pf raise with J9 diamonds, and hit a diamond in the 9 high flop. I checked to the aggro player who was raising everything, and checkraised all in. She had AQo. Caught a 4th club on the turn, but the oh so nasty A on the river sent me out 2 before final table. So, I've still never made a Daily Double final table, but my 11th place beats my previous best by 1.

Oh yeah, almost forgot, we're on the 5th break in the $200k, and I'm sitting 12th of 47. One key hand, UTG shoved a 60k stack (blinds were like 25k/50k, and I tripled the blind with AQs. Small blind overshoves, and I go to the time clock. I talk myself into him having a small pair, and eff it, I need chips, with an M of 4, so I call. The small blind had KK, but I hit the miraculous A on the river, for a rare suckout of my own. But yeah, I've got chips and a chair, so we'll see.

Wellllll, crap, went out 28th of 22141 runners, when I couldn't win a race. To set up the story, the hand before, I'm in mid position with about 1.9m chips, and look down to find 99. Guy two to my right, who is tourney chipleader with 6.1m, raises 3x the big blind to 450k. I was seriously considering shoving, because I thought I had enough fold equity, and had been playing tight (saw 12% of flops for the tourney). The Good Doctor Mondo, who is sitting next to me, says something like "you can't be thinking of going all in with 99". I let a ton of my timer count down, and fold, without sacking up.

Of course, she hasn't played poker in a year, and has never played really outside of bar poker. And I realize now she doesn't have a real concept of aggressive late stage play when real money is on the line.

So the next hand, I have AQo, and the same player raises to 450k. I again let the timer start, and say fuck it, I need the chips, I'm 16th of 28, and haven't played a hand since I doubled up a shorty when his AA held against my AK (my button versus his small blind, of course).

Well, he eventually calls, and his 88 holds, I don't improve, and I'm out 28th.

I followed him to the next table, and it was difficult, since he didn't seem English, but it appears that on the hand I folded 99, he folded either 88 (for 88 twice in a row), or AA. LOL. I think I should have played the 99.

Anyway, I can't complain about the payday, I'm starting to get a semi-real roll again, and the most I've ever had on JokerStars (at least enough to comfortably play $16 buyins for a while...), but dammit, I'm kicking myself...not for losing, but for not trusting my instincts, which got me past over 22100 runners. I don't know that I'll ever get so close to a HUGE payday again for a long while, and if I felt like I had fold equity and a read, I probably should have gone with it.

Nevertheless, I have to be pleased with this past week of online poker. One MTT win, one near final table in a 1200 runner event, and coming up a race short of a possible 4- or 5- figure cash. Going out for Dairy Queen afterwards, with the Good Doctor tasted so much better.