Friday, May 30, 2008

Go Ahead, Twist My Arm

I just know $mokkee did this just. for. me.

Okay, I keed, but just when I was deciding to bail from playing any more Bodonkeys until the end of the WSOP chase, along comes Bodog with their biggest bounty offer yet:

The BIGGEST Bounty EVER in the history of blogger tournaments will be placed on the head of $mokkee, the Bodog blogger tournament host on Tuesday June 3, 2008.

That's right, Bodog is adding an extra T$270 in value to Tuesday's June 3rd blogger tournament!

The lucky poker blogger to eliminate $mokkee will be rewarded with a seat in Bodog's WSOP* Semifinal 5 Seat Guaranteed Tournament to be held on June 8 at 3:15 pm ET.

Details at http://www.bodogbloggertournament.com

Bloggers from around the globe are invited to participate!

If you are new to Bodog, please sign up at http://poker.bodoglife.com

So what are YOU waiting for?
Sign up today and may the best poker blogger take the bulls eye on $mokkee!

Tune into Live Poker Radio for live tournament recaps and updates while you play at http://www.livepokerradio.com

There's just too much here to resist. I was fortunate enough to collect one of the two pro bounties previously given up in this series (thank you Bobby Bellande!), and just maybe, I can make it two out of three. Truth is, even if I win the bounty, I'll probably have to unreg and take the $Ts for now, just because I'll already be in Vega$ on the 8th, and I didn't go to Sin City to play intrawebby pokerz.

Have a great weekend on the felt. $mokkee...start doing some chin ups, 'cause you're gonna have to be in shape to outlast my chipstack next week.

Oh yeah, I'm playing the $100 15000 chip noon tourney Sunday at Golden Gates -- will try to have a trip report after the fact.

Now, $100 for a starting stack of 15,000 chips sounds really deep-stacked, no? Well, it's really not. Blinds start at 100/100, then go to 100/200, to 100/200/25, etc. It's still one of the best values in Blackhawk, but with the missing levels (including a couple in the middle stages), it's not really deep-stacked. Still, at 30 minute levels, it's not a bad deal.

Bye!

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Hit and Run

And no, I'm not talking about scooping a large 4-way pot and then fleeing the table. Nor am I talking about recent Britney driving escapades. Rather, today's post is very short...

Tomorrow, the 2008 World Series of Poker begins. Of course, you already know that, unless you live under a rock, or have come no closer to a poker table than FLDS grandmother has ever been.

54 events, gobs of pros and spectators, and more news than you can shake a Weekly World at.

But have no fear...there's really only one place you need to go for all the best stories, best blogging, and coolest features for the month. Once again, Dr. Pauly leads the way:



Where are you getting your news from this year?

At this point, I don't know whether the Good Doctor Mondo and I will make it over to the Rio to live rail any of the events on our trip. Docket's getting full. In fact, I'm trying to work two tourneys into the schedule, and not sure if I can work it when I consider the poker rate hours we gotta put in, too. We'll see.

Oh yeah, Ultimate Bet's finally come out with a statement on what they're going to do in the aftermath of the long running superuser scam. You can find a copy of the e-mail they sent to users here (Thanks, Falstaff!). I'll try to have some comments on it later tonight or tomorrow. That said, I'm having a hard time seeing a way for this to be anything other than a lose/lose for Ultimate Bet.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

A Glimpse Into Opponents

Okay, not really, but sorta. I've seen two other folks point me to this video today, so I thought I'd share it with you:



Kinda reminds me of the type of player who's been taking me out of most tournaments, lately, just the same.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Live Blogging Tuesday

Here we go again...

I'm in the Bodonkey, what do you know? I like giving up chips.

7:04pm - Starting table of myself, Lightning36, Donkette (the other Donkette), Newinnov, Mofo_69, Raisydaisy22, and CEMfromMD...

7:06pm - Also playing in both Daily Doubles, where my AQ held up against three others to go up 25% early. Raised 3.5pf, called smallish flop and turn bets, with flush and straight draws on the board. Probably a weak play, but no real reads yet.

7:10pm - Awesome. Out of Daily Double B. UTG raised to 60, I repopped to 215 from button with KK. Small blind called, UTG shoved all in (had me covered by a few). I put him on AK, or JJ-99, not AA there. Duh. He flips AA, and I'm done. No double cash for me...I sense lots of tilt tonight on my part. Awesome start.

7:17pm - InstantTragedy playing the role of Gigli tonight - at least it's not me, though I'm sure I'm the nightly stand-in.

7:30pm - Tough Skillz opening table - Kurokitty, Drizzdj, ScottMC, Astin, dwal, Shabazz Jenkins, and some randoms...

8:04pm - Near crippled at break. As usual, RaisyDaisy catches yet another river 3-outer, making AK <<<<< AJo. Down to 454 chips (29th of 29), but at least I'll be button-ish.

8:06pm - Soooooooooooo motherfucking awesome. Table chipleader in Bodog $10 $5k tries yet another steal from me, blind versus blind. I have A7, so fuck it, I shove, he calls with KJo, and naturally, turns a straight. This is less of a blog, and more of a fucking deathwatch blog, because I'm about to bust a cap in some fucking RNG programmer. Keep me away from Kanawahke, seriously.

8:16pm - Fuck Bodog, fo'real. 70/30 hand? Read that at 3/97, at best.

8:40pm - In an amazingly shocking stroke of luck, my AKo managed to win a 3-way versus QQ and AT in the Skillz game. Wow. Near the chiplead, and the one bounty I took was my first cash of any type today.

9:46pm - Picked up another bounty when A8 reshoved my AQ. 4th of 27, let's see what she says...

9:52pm - Out of the FTP $8.80 177 runner tourney, when my turned straight (slowplayed) let the stealer catch runner runner gutter on the river, gg me.

10:24pm - Out of the Skillz on an impossibly fucked up hand. Money went all in on the turn:



I really think I need to leave online poker for a bit. I've now dumped 1/4 of my bankroll since my win a couple weeks back, and while I've made the occasional bad play, most of my losses have been on such colossally fucked up hands like the one above.

The most motherfucking shiteating junk-diseased part of it is, it's almost always within one table of the money, unless it's in the first five hands. One or the other. I will serious start throwing shit at laptops soon. I'll be taking at least 4-5 days off poker completely, and possibly off this blog, as well. I've got to get away from online poker for a bit before I cause real damage to something.

12:26am - Almost forgot. I actually managed to pick up two extremely minor cashes, going out 9th in the $5 Limit O8, and go out 205th (216 pay in Midnight Madness, when some cocksucker who raised 75s from the button thinks instacalling calling my all in on a Q86 rainbow board (none of his suit) is an awesome idea. Of course, he hits his miracle 5 on the fucking river. As mcfucking usual. I see how he got his stack now. Call from behind every time and catch. To his credit, he's got a 5% ROI on the $3.30 90 player SNGs, but most of that was in two tournaments. Hell, as I typed that sentence, he's lost 90% of his stack by overplaying KJ, so fuck him, too. Most folks who luckbox into my chips lose them very shortly afterward, because they simply suck hind tit at poker. Of course, that doesn't stop me from dropping $100 in buyins tonight, only one time getting my chips in anywhere close to behind....

Yeah, I'm taking a few days off, so that I don't cockpunch the first person I see calling my raise in Vega$ next week with A8o, out of position.

Holiday Recap

Baby Mama - fun movie, predictable yet abrupt ending, but the funniest bits are all in the TV commercial anyway

Colorado Rockies - oy vey, what can I say? Never mind the 20-5....we attended the one weekend home game the Rox lost. Last year, they couldn't lose when the Good Doctor Mondo and I were at Coors Field. This year, they can't win.

Poker - took down a bar tourney pre-bands on Friday night. I know, I know, I swore off bar poker, but had a couple hours to kill, and took it down with hours to spare before the bands I wanted to see.

Online Poker - only played last night, and, except for a barely cashing of the Bodog $3k $10 rebuy (went out 18th of 18 pay spots), I truly got kicked in the junk. Lost two 50/50 satellites (no more of those for me until my FTP rolls grows), went out of a $6k when TT caught his river 2-outer against my QQ, and pretty much got abused everywhere else.

Of course, my getting kicked in the junk online can only mean one thing. That's right, it's Tuesday, which means:



Bodog is proud to host the Bodog Poker Blogger Tournament Series where poker bloggers worldwide are gathering each Tuesday in the Bodog Poker Room to earn points for a spot in the final tournament. The winner of the TOC will receive a once in a lifetime opportunity to win a $12,000 WSOP* prize package and be a part of Team Bodog 2008. Details at http://www.bodogbloggertournament.com

This tournament is open to poker bloggers from around the globe. If you are new to Bodog, please sign up at http://poker.bodoglife.com

To register, players are required to go to http://www.bodoglife.com/promotions/poker/blogger-tournament and sign in with their Bodog account information in the upper right hand corner. Once this is completed, they must then click on "REGISTER NOW" to register themselves into the tournament series. Bloggers will each have to do this once in order to play in the series. Once this is done, they then need to find the "Online Poker Blogger Tournament" in the software and register as they normally would each and every week.

For assistance with registration, call Bodog's Poker Customer Service at 1-866-909-2237 or email http://www.bodogbloggertournament.com/contact
Please include your blogger screen name, Bodog Member Account ID number and your poker blog URL address.

We're down to the last three weeks, and I don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of coming in the top 18. But I like pain, so I signed up anyway.

The Skillz game tonight is Pot Limit Hold'em. I'm undecided whether to play or not -- I'll probably give the Daily Doubles a go, instead, if only because I'm not really involved in BBT3, and enjoy the Skillz games more when they're Omatard or Razz-based.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

An Addition to Ye Olde Blogroll

I recently received a comment from a newish blogger, whose blog I thought some of you might enjoy: Vortex of Hate

Don't let the name deceive you, this is just a good ol' fashioned poker blog, where author Mike Casalena track his progress and analyzes his play as he tries to move up from a small initial deposit, up to the future nosebleed levels.

As Mike writes, "I started this project on Stars with a mere $125. My first goal is to build my roll to $5000 without despositing any additional funds to help. With $5,000 I should be able to play $200 NL comfortably."

Well, Mike, I wish you luck, and lots of readers.

As for myself, I haven't played a lick of cards the entire weekend, other than taking down a short bar tourney on Friday while waiting for The Omens and Dario Rosa to play. I've got enough free Bowling Bucks in my car now, to fund my own league team. Maybe I should start spending them, I guess.

By now, I suspect these two are nearing rolling into Vegas for the summer. In two weeks, the Good Doctor Mondo and I will be there with them. Actually, we'll be at the MGM Grand, but you know what I mean.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Please Wish A Fellow Blogger Well

Everyone's pal PokerPeaker's pretty much ground zero with regard to today's Windsor/Greeley tornado...

Please post when you can and let us know you and yours are alright.

The local pictures are devastating, and it appears the house of one of my co-workers was hit.

I'm hoping Peaker's just being severly overtasked covering the storm for the Trib, and that everything's okay in his neck of the woods.

Good vibes, man, good vibes.

Speaking of RNGs

Non-poker content

Okay, no poker content, but an extreme one-outer.

So my iPod presently has about 9900 or so songs on it, from at least about 800 different albums. Since some of what I've picked up over the years are various Rhino Nuggets-type box sets, compilations, and such, I couldn't even begin to guess the total number of artists, but the number has to be at least 1100 or so.

Now, we've all got our favorites, and I have mine. There are a small number of bands for whom I have pretty much their entire catalog on my iPod, which means there are rare instances where I may have two versions of the same song by the same artist, but from two different performances (never mind other weird things such the seven different versions I've collected of the instro-surf classic "Squad Car" by seven different bands, and never mind this terrible run-on sentence). There are other instances where I may have two versions of the same song by the same band, but only have a handful of tracks by that band on my iPod, in total.

Well, I hit the ultimate one-outer on the way to work today. Here I am, crusing down I-25, to the badass strains of the Afghan Whigs' most-excellent track "Debonair", from their album "Gentlemen" -- this being a live version recorded at the Howlin Wolf and released on a short run EP, back in '95 or so. At any rate, what happens immediately afterwards? Obvious. The very next song played on my iPod is "Debonair", this time, the studio version from their album "Gentlemen". 'natch.

The kicker is, because the screen on my iPod has gone to shit, my iPod is set to play 100% randomly. No playlists, no ordering, strictly random. The same song. By the same band. From two different recordings (the only two versions I have). Consecutive. About 9900:1 odds. Who'da thunk it. The Apple and JokerStars RNGs were clearly written by the same guy.



Oh yeah, Afghan Whigs were truly one of the great bands of the 90s, pretty much the perfect combination of indie/grunge/soul. Greg Dulli is now, and has always been, the Curtis Mayfield of indie rock, in my book, and much more so in his present incarnation as The Twilight Singers, but I digress.

Something else of mild interest, the live version of "Debonair", in addition to quoting Dean Stockwell's "Ben" (from Blue Velvet)....is played approximately 10bpm faster than the studio version. Huh. The slower studio version is actually a bit more menacing.

Their live set I saw in 1996 is still one of the greatest single sets of music I've seen, and one of the few to top it was Dulli's solo show at DC's The Black Cat...2003, I believe that was. Okay, digression's gone far enough for one post.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Live Blogging Bloggerments

7:03pm - got Bayne, ScottMC, Lightning36, BrainMC, KJTech, Smokkee and Gary Carson at my starting table. This is gonna be tough.

7:35pm - Ok, Gary Carson slow played his AA, and I'm out. I'm through playing the Bodonkey, as I now officially consider myself out of the running. Good luck, no need for me to keep donating in this particular series, seriously.

7:58pm - Out of Skillz. Fuck it all.

Oh yeah, and this happened in the Fiddy Fiddy:



Bet my set like a man, and get punished on the river. Goddamn poker hates me tonight. At least I still have 1/3 of a stack in that that fucking open pus sore of a tournament.

9:35pm - Finally went out of the 50/50, around 262nd or so. Struggled along for a bit by stealing, but couldn't get moving after that brutal suckout early on. Given subsequent developments in the tourney, I can't help but think I could have cashed in this thing if my trips could have held one time.

Decent Start to the Evening

Even if the Good Doctor Mondo gets to start calling me "Almost", again:



Sadly, I blew a pretty substantial chiplead 3-handed, though at one point HU, we were almost dead even.

One other thing I tried was to take my first ever shot at a satellite for the nightly FTP Fiddy Fiddy:



Now, I could cash out the $Ts for a bit of bankroll building, but really, for me, the whole reason to play sats is to get into tournaments that are outside my roll, so I'm going to play this event for the first time ever, and see what happens.

Tuesday Night Bloggerment Pimpage



Yup, we're coming down to the very nub of it, the horses have rounded the corner, and there's scant few weeks to earn your WSOP Main Event seat via the bloggerment path.

Bodog is proud to host the Bodog Poker Blogger Tournament Series where poker bloggers worldwide are gathering each Tuesday in the Bodog Poker Room to earn points for a spot in the final tournament. The winner of the TOC will receive a once in a lifetime opportunity to win a $12,000 WSOP* prize package and be a part of Team Bodog 2008. Details at http://www.bodogbloggertournament.com

This tournament is open to poker bloggers from around the globe. If you are new to Bodog, please sign up at http://poker.bodoglife.com

To register, players are required to go to http://www.bodoglife.com/promotions/poker/blogger-tournament and sign in with their Bodog account information in the upper right hand corner. Once this is completed, they must then click on "REGISTER NOW" to register themselves into the tournament series. Bloggers will each have to do this once in order to play in the series. Once this is done, they then need to find the "Online Poker Blogger Tournament" in the software and register as they normally would each and every week.

For assistance with registration, call Bodog's Poker Customer Service at 1-866-909-2237 or email http://www.bodogbloggertournament.com/contact
Please include your blogger screen name, Bodog Member Account ID number and your poker blog URL address.

So what are YOU waiting for? Sign up today and may the best poker blogger win!

I'm down to 31st, after a couple of non-points weeks, and a full 127 points out of 18th, which means I really do need a win, or at least two top three finishes. Here's hoping I can duplicate my effort from Saturday.

Also, don't forget Buddy Dank is again running Live Poker Radio broadcasts for live tournament recaps and updates while you play at http://www.livepokerradio.com

And now, you can even bet on which poker blogger will win the most money at the WSOP Main Event at http://www.bodoglife.com/sports-betting/poker.jsp

I'm not much of a sports-betting man, but at 60:1, I may just have to dump a bit of railage on $mokkee. Too bad they're not running this guy at 200:1, or I'd definitely bite.

Also, tonight's another edition of the Blogger Skillz Series, and the flavor of the day is No Limit Omaha Hi/Lo, so I can pretty much guarantee an appearance by this drunk northerner. Lots of fun, knockout bounties and big stacks. See ya there!

Monday, May 19, 2008

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Saturday, May 17, 2008

Finally Had A Breakthrough

And no, that's not a psychiactrist talking, more like Mr. Bodog. Except the sound he makes is...BOOOOOOOM.



There's a bankroll doubler! My first ever true MTT takedown (yet only my 3rd biggest cash, as the others were 2nd places in bigger tournaments). Feels awesome, really.

This was Bodog's $12+1 $2k guarantee superstack, and the field barely met the guarantee. 167 runners, I believe. The hand I posted earlier (paid on quads on every street) really set me on my way.

However, the key hand in this run wasn't much later than that, when Presto was g00t, but only up to the turn:



This was long before the final table, with only about 38% of the field gone, and there's no way I put him on pocket fives, when the money went in on the turn. So yes, I finally run g00t, and catch my very own one outer, for a 3rd place chipstack about 2/5 through the tournament.

From there, there was really no looking back, and from the final four tables down to the final table, I was chipleader (or in the top 3 at worst, for a couple short bits). This is how things looked when we sat down for the final table:



I continued to hold the chip lead, through a combination of some well-timed steals, and a couple of high pocket pairs on low flops. At least, until I made a bad read (putting someone on AK on a board with unders, when they held TPTK, or something like that). After that hand, I was 3rd of three remaining, and way behind the chipleader, but thankfully, he doubled me up on KK, and I was able to knock him out a couple of hands later, getting us down to heads-up:



We pretty much went back and forth for about 20 hands, with me slowly moving up in chips, until:



BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

I'd made a pot-control bet on the flop, hammered the turn, and when my value bet on the river got raised, I knew my long-ass wait to win was finally going to be over.



Turning the nuts is fun, especially when your opponent has a can't-foldhand.



Anyway, I really do want to give props to both Clovus and SatG, both of whom played really strong games. Clovus was up near the chiplead for most of the event, and SatG made a pretty ferocious comeback from a short stack to get to heads up.

Man, it feels GREAT to finally get the MTT monkey off my back.

How to Get Paid Without Even Trying

A short story, in pictures:







I like to call this story, "Check Call With the Nuts"

Friday, May 16, 2008

WPBT Summer Gatherings



Well, it appears the annual summer pilgrimage of poker bloggers to Vega$, otherwise known as the World Poker Blogger Tour, is going to be a somewhat fractured two-parter this year.

In 2008, lots of bloggers are playing lots of events, whether at the World Series of Poker, the Venetian Deep Stack Extravaganza, or ever Binion's Classic. But we're not playing them all at the same time.

So....

This year, it's pretty much an "unofficial" thingamabob. Unofficially, that's how I like to make my live entrance amongst you degenerates. Yeah, the Good Doctor Mondo and I are booked for Part One, so to speak.

Thanks to a fantabulous poker rate at MGM Grand, and some sketchy "Wanna Get Away" fares through Southwest, we'll be there from June 5-9. There's nothing I'd like to do more there than sling chips in the mixed game with the likes of some of my favorite http://taopoker.blogspot.com/.

Other bloggers known to be out there the first weekend include:

Columbo
Zeem
Mattazuma
Gadzooks64
Jasper6294
Easycure

Youse guys (and Gadzooks!) are folks I don't know, but look foward to mebbe meeting. Of course, there's the locals like Miami Don and Carmen, as well. Should be fun.

My own plans include some pool and Cirque du Soleil time with the Good Doctor Mondo, as well, but I'm hoping to hit a couple of the better structured $150 or so buy-in tourneys, because I microroll like that. Maybe the Orleans? The Venetian wrote me and let me know that even during the Deep Stack Extravaganza, they'll be running $180 buy in tournies at 8pm.

If things work out the way I'm hoping, I'll play the Venetian $180 8pm on Thursday, and the Orleans 7pm $120 on Friday, and see Ka on Saturday - with a trip to Ra for sushi and lots of MGM table time mixed in. That is, unless I mix in the Binion's Classic $200 Limit O8 tourney on Friday afternoon instead.

For two years, I've been wanting to make this trip, and this time, it's really happening. Booked and cooked.

As for you schmoes going out the following weekend, good luck in your WSOP events, have fun, and I'll have to wait until the Winter Gathering to stack you. Or something.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Blog Your Way to the Main Event!



This is some really well and truly cool news. It ain't for me, because I'm a complete and total hack with zero imagination (and an even smaller vocabulary), but thanks to the great Sir AlCan'tHang, and the folks over at Full Tilt (yes, I still despise your not-so-random-RNG, but you toss great prizes to bloggers), you have the rare opportunity to write your way into a job blogging the World Series of Poker Main Event for Full Tilt.

From Full Tilt's website:

Do you want to experience the glitz, glamour and excitement of the WSOP Main Event the way the pros do? Then here’s your chance to hang with the biggest names in tournament poker reporting as Full Tilt Poker’s “Blogger on the Rail” at the world’s biggest poker tournament.

Our last Battle of the Bloggers writing contest, Write Your Way to Australia, was a huge success and generated some tremendous blog posts. This time around, we’ve raised the stakes. The winner of the Write Your Way to the 2008 WSOP will earn a fantastic prize package, including:

Round-trip airfare to Las Vegas
Accommodation for July 9th to the 16th
$1,000 cash spending money
Your daily coverage posted exclusively on Poker From The Rail
All you’ve got to do is come up with two fictional blog entries about “what happened at the 2008 WSOP” and post them on your blog. The first post should showcase your ability to provide journalistic coverage for the biggest poker event in the world. The second post should show off your storytelling abilities by providing an entertaining account of something that happened in Vegas during the WSOP, about your “winning experience,” your first days as a big winner, etc. Again, this is all fiction - have fun with it.

There’s only one requirement for your posts, and the rest is up to you. Each post must contain the following links:

“WSOP” linking to: http://www.fulltiltpoker.com/world-poker-series
Example: WSOP
“poker” linking to: http://www.fulltiltpoker.com
Example: poker
Once you’ve written your posts, here’s all you need to do:

Enter your Full Tilt Username and the URL for one post in the form at the bottom of the screen – you will need to complete this process for each entry
Ensure that all information is correct and complete
Click Submit

For details, just go here. Hell, I may even give it a go myself, if I feel the muse, but one of the test posts is supposed to be a fictional story (as opposed to fictional table coverage).

In fact, I'll put my money right on this guy, who may be the funniest blogger evah.

Oh yeah, tonight is Riverchasers. With the Good Doctor Mondo out of town, I'll get my first online Riverchasers taste ever tonight. If I'm home from work on time, that is.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Wow

Just re-read my last post for the umpteenth time. I can't recall the last time I wrote with such vitriol...apologies to any with soft sensibilities. :-)

Of course I don't hate poker. I do feel like poker hates me. I know, I know, I forgot to buy flowers for Lee Jones for Mother's Day. That's it.

Yeah, I know, that's just pokerz, too. Just wish I could land on the right side of that kinda variance once or twice. Hopefully in the JokerStars WSOP Weekly Final?

Anyway, good luck at the tables today -- don't forget, it's Mookie-time!



In fact, with the Good Doctor Mondo's schedule changing, my online pokerin' nights will be tweaked, and I'll soon start hitting up Mookie's awesomely fun gathering every Wednesday, too. Starting next week, most likely.

Have fun, and run g00t.

Oh yeah, two former bandmates of mine's new band (The Ocean Bed) just got names Critic's Choice in Denver's Westword this week. Neato. I like what Tom Murphy said about "highly underrated Denver power-pop band Palisades"...ah, now I'm getting a bit misty...

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Why I (Finally) Hate Poker

Never mind crashing out of both bloggerments tonight, shit like that happens, and really, I didn't play too well in those (though I had a decent moment or two in the Skillz game).

But going out of both Daily Doubles while holding AA and raising them like a man preflop, to 88 and KQ?

Fuckity fuck fuck fuck. Going out by having AA and KK go down in consecutive hands, dropping from a top 50 stack to being 570th of 570?

Fuck Full Tilt. Seriously, fuck you. Fuck you for borrowing Absolute Fraud's superuser anti random number generator doomswitch. It doesn't matter which site, it's all of you. Really. Bodog's changed their tourney schedule to something which really doesn't suit me these days (what happened to your 8:30pm 18+2?)

Ultimately, last night was one of my 2-3 worst bankroll nights ever online, if not the worst. Easily dumped nearly 20% of my bankroll. And the best part of it is, nearly all of it was attributable to losing 80/20 after 80/20 after 70/30 after 80/20. If you're on a draw no matter how thin, you need to call my raises. If you have any pocket pair, no matter how small, you need to call my pot-size bets heads up. You're giving away free money if you don't.

I must have played 15 or so tournaments last night, everything daily doubles, to $30 Bodogs, to token frenzys of different levels, even to limit Omaha. It didn't matter which tournament. Group one hands losing to A8 (but it was soooted), high pocket pairs losing to mid soooted connectors, AK down to A3, yada yada yada the list goes on and on. I think I must have lost in every possible 70% or better situation.

And yet the only ITM finish at all was in a JokerStars WSOP Round 1 freeroll, where I won a freeroll seat into their weekly finals. Yeah, fucking ironic.

It seems there's been a rash of bloggers getting pounded lately by having what seems to be every one of their strongest hands getting kicked in the balls time and again. Maybe this means I've arrived as a blogger, who knows? Naw, more likely it just makes me a whiner, but that's why there's a Blogger.com.

Yup, that about sums it up. FYFT.

Tuesday Night Bloggerment Pimpage

Update -- I'm playin' cards. See you on the felt.

In what is becoming an all-too-regular occurence for me, my job is truly kicking me in the junk again, so I'll have to hit and run with just a reminder that tonight is both the Bodog Blogger Tournament Series, and the King of Donks' Skillz Game, over at Full Tilt.

Tonight's Skillz game is alleged to be HOE, or a game perfectly suited to us hoe-bag bloggers. I'm unlikely to be playing, unless I bag the Boss Martians show. Actually, that's looking kinda likely, as it appears the opening band doesn't even go on until 10pm, so I may be playing tonight, after all.

However, whether I play one, both, or none, you should clearly play all of them. Bodonkey and Skillz are just too damn much fun.



The Bodog Blogger Tournament Series is down to the final five weeks, running out of chances to get points, but the payoff is HUGE at the end.

Join up and challenge other Poker Bloggers each Tuesday in our Bodog Poker Room and live to tell about it. Earn points and work your way up the Tournament Leader Board for a spot in the final tournament for your chance to win a $12,000 World Series of Poker* prize package and be a part of Team Bodog 2008.

The winner of the final tournament will receive a once in a lifetime opportunity to win a $12,000 WSOP* prize package and be a part of Team Bodog 2008.

How to Participate
This tournament is open to poker bloggers worldwide. Players must have a Bodog Member Player Account to register.
If you are new to Bodog, please sign up at http://poker.bodoglife.com/

Players are then required to go to http://www.bodoglife.com/promotions/poker/blogger-tournament/ and sign in with their Bodog account information in the upper right hand corner. Once this is completed, they must then click on "REGISTER NOW" to register themselves into the tournament series. Bloggers will each have to do this once in order to play in the series. Once this is done, they then need to find the "Online Poker Blogger Tournament" in the software and register as they normally would each and every week.

Players are encouraged to register early. If you need assistance with signing up for the tournament or with starting a Bodog member player account, please call Bodog's Poker Customer Service at 1-866-909-2237 or contact us prior to start time at http://www.bodogbloggertournament.com/contact

Tournament prizes, leader board and tournament schedule available at http://www.bodoglife.com/promotions/poker/blogger-tournament/

Monday, May 12, 2008

Weekend Lights

Played a wee bit of poker this weekend. Was kinda cute to be playing a mid-afternoon peep token frenzy and having this guy randomly show up on your left.

We both scored peep tokens, even if I did steal his blind at least once.

Otherwise, had pretty much a losing weekend, mostly attributable to me taking a shot at a $44 Bodog tourney with a smallish field, where I could never get any cards at all except for AA twice where noone called standard-size preflop raises. As a result, my overall roll's back to where it was before my slight early successes last week.

I'm leaning heavily towards going to the Boss Martians show tomorrow night in lieu of playing the Bodonkey. If that doesn't cement me not making the Top 18, I don't know what else will, but it seems silly to me to miss one of my favorite bands, whom I haven't seen in two years, just for a shot to possibly get enough points to get me a wee bit closer to the Top 18. The only way I would eventually not regret missing the show if if I ultimately a) make the final tournament, and b) score a prize in that tournament.

The way I run, I'd probably score just enough points tomorrow to ensure that after week 18, I'm one point out of 18th. And then I'd be on tilt for missing the BMs. In fact, the Good Doctor Mondo's given me a nickname - "Almost". For almost making final tables, for almost winning, etc. It is surprising how I'm able to consistently cash around 20% of events, and never flat out win (all my 1st places except two are in token runs, where there is no flat out 1st). Lots of 4ths, 6ths, 8ths, etc. lately.

Anyway, that's not a complaint -- just an indicator of my mental state going into this decision, which tells me I'll almost make the top 18, and "almost" is not enough to get me to miss a band I'd love to see.

Oh yeah, we did do one other really fun thing this weekend. The Good Doctor Mondo and I live near several prarie dog colonies. She's always had a thing for the lil' vermin. I, on the other hand, give her a rash of "they're plague carrying pests!", but mostly in jest, because the lil' critters are so damn cute.

Anyway, after watching "Underdog: A Prarie Story" on big screen high def three times over the last few days, we decided to take our Sunday coffees, binoculars, and a couple of lounge chairs out to spectate for a while. Good thing, too, because they all have new babies, and there was lots of activity in dog town. I highly recommend the documentary. If you have high def cable, it's on the High Definition Theater channel. Look for it.

Friday, May 09, 2008

Friday On My Mind

No poker the last couple of days, and none today.

Tomorrow's another bar poker end of season championship, and I'm qualified, but about 98% certain I'm just going to skip it. I mean, why spend a beautiful Saturday tilting yourself to some asshat who's going to call two all-ins with 93 sooooted, magically flop two pair (crushing QQ and AK), and then talk about how good a play it is?

Bought tickets to Matt Holliday bobblehead day last night. Can't wait. Thing is, Big Daddy's noggin is so frickin' huge, the only way to make it work on a bobblehead is to make it life-size. I may not be able to fit the bobblehead in my car after the game.

Looks like I'm going to see my newborn niece in a few weeks. Cool thing...while checking out possible travel arrangements, I found out this place is only nine miles from where I'll be staying. I may have to make a stop in at some point (though that seems unlikely, given I'm there to see the fam).

Sitting on the fence with regard to next week's Tuesday bloggerments. I can *really* use the points, but one of my favorite bands is starting their US tour and will be in Denver on Tuesday. You've never heard of them, but it's their music at the end of all those neato eTrade baby commercials, and I know you've seen those. Anyway, their new record is out in a couple of weeks, what I've heard is amazing, and I haven't seen them live in two years, so we'll see.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

No TOC Seat, But Plenty of Hoy-Hater Points

I think I unintentionally earned a pantload of Hoy-hater points last night.

I completely forgot about this, until Hoyazo blogged about his unceremonious exit from the Skillz game.

"My personal highlight of the night was my elimination hand, when I was showing an Ace on 3rd street, bet and got called by an 8. Then I was dealt a 4 for an A4 showing, and the 8 was dealt a 7 for a 78 showing. So whem my A4 ass bet out, Mr. Dinkhead of course instacalled again. You know, because his 87 low has to be ahead of my A4-showing low. Well by that point I was very close to allin so I just put in the rest when I paired one of my low cards on 5th street, and fast forward 20 seconds later and there I am making a full house and losing to some 9 or 10-low hand.

Amazingly, that guy did not go on to win the razz event last night. I was shocked. But JD Schellnut did go on to nab his BBT3 Tournament of Champions seat, joining the likes of me and others who have won their way in via the Skills Series set of limit non-holdem events. Congratulations to JD for what I'm sure was a fine performance to outlast that field of donkeys in of all things a blogger razz event."


First off, I congratulate JDSchellnut for his win -- he played outstanding Razz. I like to think that if our hand early in 4-handed (where either his 8762A beat my 8763A, our his 7652A beat my 7653A, I forget the top 3 cards, but we had the same top 3) had gone the other way, I might have my TOC seat.

Hoy, meet Mr. Dinkhead.

If my memory serves, as "Mr. Dinkhead", I will only say that when you saw my 87 showing, you didn't get to see the hidden (A2) that went with it. Given your stack, and your penchant for aggressiveness, I knew you were pretty much completing or raising any (xx)A in that spot. I had every reason to think that if I wasn't already ahead, my draw was certainly worth sticking around a hand you were already committed to.

Mostly, I'd like to congratulate the entire field for surviving the first hour. Even in Razz, I've never seen anything like that in a bloggerment. That was cool.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Semi-Live Blogging, Part Deux

Bodonkey starting table: Lightning36, KJTech, CEMfromMD, Mofo_69, oossuu74, ChayseTilton, and I got the button. My undisclosed PP holds up, and off we go....

7:09pm - Wow, ScottMc's already out. That might just set a record, given how slow the early eliminations usually are in this thing. Down to 39. Lightish turnout tonight.

8:06pm - At first break, we're down to 30 in Bodonkey. No one has dropped from Skillz yet. Having zero momentum in my other tournies, and hanging around starting stack in Bodonkey.

8:33pm - Crippled in the Bodonkey. ChayseTilton's been stealing from me all night, so when he shoved my 3.5 BB raise from a smallish stack, I felt my AQs was good. His 66 held, and I'm down to under 1,000 chips, and an M of about 4.5, and still 27 players left.

8:37pm - Doubled up when Lightning36 put me on a button steal. My AQo held against his J4 (he had a massive stack and was in BB).

8:45 - Out in 24th. So fucking gross. KK on the button. Smokkee raised under the gun to 600 (blinds 100/200), Lightning36 raises to 1620 (I have 1725). Obviously, I shove, but have no fold equity, so Lightning36 calls with TT. InstantTragedy says he folded a ten. Case ten on the flop. Soooo fucking gross, but whatcha gonna do. Five weeks left, and I'm pretty much out of it, I think. But Lightning36 is a very good player, and my pick to take it down tonight.

11:02pm - Well, I'm long out of everything else, but I'm actually sitting at the Skillz Razz final table, with Fuel, VinNay, Loretta8, cemfredmd, JDSchellnut, and NY Rambler. 3rd of 7 right now, and having a blast. Even got Waffles' bounty when I committed myself while behind, and he bricked runner runner boat. I felt a bit bad, but I relish it a bit more when I snag a bounty of someone who's play I respect, and Waffles can razz it up, for sure.

11:18pm - Out 4th in Skillz Razz. Fuck me. Crippled when JD caught 8762A to beat my 8763A, and then I staggered to nothingness. Fuck me, and fuck my chances at any kind of main event seat this year. Actually made a few $$$ tonight though (final tabled a $10+1 90 turbo SNG), and even collected Fuel's bounty. In some ways, a plus night, but fuck it, I wanted a TOC seat.

Tuesday Night's Alright For Pokerin'

Had fun live blogging last night's tourneys, and given that Tooooosday is my biggest online day of the week, may do so again tonight. We'll see. Hard to live blog if I'm more than 3-tabling...

Yup, that time of week again, and it's a good one. Bodog Blogger Tournament Series, and the King of Donks' Skillz Game, over at Full Tilt. Good times, good times.

Tonight's Skillz game is Razz, boy howdy. The only form of stud I actually like, and one in which I think I can beat a few button mashers out of their bounties. Starts at 7:30 pm Rockies time -- check the banner below.



Every bit as fun, and even more important is the Bodog Blogger Tournament Series. We're down to five weeks remaining, and time is getting short for those of us out of the top 18. I'm just hoping I can run as reasonably well as I did last night even if I did come up short of a top 3, and my double cash wasn't the best in the Daily Doubles.

Join up and challenge other Poker Bloggers each Tuesday in our Bodog Poker Room and live to tell about it. Earn points and work your way up the Tournament Leader Board for a spot in the final tournament for your chance to win a $12,000 World Series of Poker* prize package and be a part of Team Bodog 2008.

The winner of the final tournament will receive a once in a lifetime opportunity to win a $12,000 WSOP* prize package and be a part of Team Bodog 2008.

How to Participate
This tournament is open to poker bloggers worldwide. Players must have a Bodog Member Player Account to register.
If you are new to Bodog, please sign up at http://poker.bodoglife.com/

Players are then required to go to http://www.bodoglife.com/promotions/poker/blogger-tournament/ and sign in with their Bodog account information in the upper right hand corner. Once this is completed, they must then click on "REGISTER NOW" to register themselves into the tournament series. Bloggers will each have to do this once in order to play in the series. Once this is done, they then need to find the "Online Poker Blogger Tournament" in the software and register as they normally would each and every week.

Players are encouraged to register early. If you need assistance with signing up for the tournament or with starting a Bodog member player account, please call Bodog's Poker Customer Service at 1-866-909-2237 or contact us prior to start time at http://www.bodogbloggertournament.com/contact

Tournament prizes, leader board and tournament schedule available at http://www.bodoglife.com/promotions/poker/blogger-tournament/

Bodog Main Event Satellites

Bodog's starting to run a series of satellites to a final Main Event qualifier. The best part is, it's only five PPs to enter each one. They're running four times a day, once every six hours. Each one awards seats in the final to the top 25 players.

So far, I've played two, each with something like 1900-2000 runners. And so far, I've finished 53rd and...yup, tonight...28th. So sick, but it's my own fault for earlier on misclicking a call of 5,000k with 82o. That 5k may have been the fold equity I needed (when I went out, I was actually about 20th in chips).

Anyway, if you play at Bodog, it behooves to you jump into a couple of these things. They are soft, and cheap. If you qualify, the final details follow:

Final Tournament
The Final Tournament, the "WSOP* Seat Giveaway Finale", will be hosted on Saturday, June 7th at 5:05pm ET. If every qualifier decides to participate, this tournament will have a maximum of 3100 entries. Since players need to qualify their way into this tournament, there will be $0 + $0 buy-in.

The first place finisher of this "WSOP* Seat Giveaway Finale" will win the grand prize of a $12,000 Main Event Prize Package as a member of Team Bodog in the 2008 WSOP. Additional prizing will be distributed as such: 2nd to 5th win T$270 in order to buy-into a "Main Event Semifinal" and 6th to 10th will win T$109 in order to buy-into Bodog's $100,000 Guaranteed Tournament.

2008 WSOP* Seat Giveaway Freeroll Tournament Terms and Conditions

WSOP* Seat Giveaway Finale
Date: Saturday, June 7th
Time: 5:05pm ET
Players: 3100 max (25 players per Qualifier X 4 Qualifiers per Day X 31 Days)
Buy-In: Freeroll – Top 25 players in each WSOP* Seat Giveaway Qualifier will be invited to play in this finale
Prizes:

1st- $12,000 WSOP Prize Package to be part of Team Bodog

2nd to 5th- T$270 in order to buy into a Main Event Semifinal
6th to 10th- T$109 in order to buy into the $100K Semifinal

Really, I can't find a better free way to win a chance at a main event seat. Now, if I can just finish a wee bit higher in the qualifier...

Monday, May 05, 2008

Semi Live Blogging?

On the back of a 2nd place in a $5.50 PLO8 MTT last night, I thought I'd dump a few bucks in the Full Tilt Daily Doubles. What usually happens is, I run fairly deep and even cash in one, and am out in the first 10 minutes in the other.

At 8:02pm, we're at first break, and I'm 89 of 610 in DD A, and 102 of 568 in DD B. I was top 30 in B for a while, but had to fold to a fourflushed river (I'd caught flush on turn, but it was low, and he obv had higher flush.

We'll see how hour two goes.

8:10pm - Also playing the Bodog $5k guarantee, and on an 844 flop, I check shoved my QQ (opted to limp HU from small blind). My shove was called by JJ, who promptly hit his two outer on the turn. If my queens hold, I have a top five stack at break. I'm still above average, at least.

8:21pm - So fucking gross. Bodog $5k. QQ goes down to 22 who called my 3.5x raise pf, when he flopped a set. Then, A9s went down to TT when my A on flop and turn couldn't overcome his flopped set again. So that's two two outers, and trip aces down, and I'm out. So fucking gross.

8:38pm - Below average stack in Daily Double B, when KQo called my late AK shove, and hit his 3 outer Q on river. Still have average stack in DD A.

8:57pm - Back up to above avg stack in DD A, when AK caught broadway against KJo, and with TT on a T55 flop, I check called an all-in by 99. Up to 54th of 288, but 165th of 293 in DD A.

9:10pm - At 2nd break, sitting 159 of 245 in Daily Double A (180 pay, so I'm shortish, but okay), and back up to 38 of 235 in Daily Double B (153 pay), when my AK on a K high flop actually held against KQ. I think the play in these is very soft, but there's kinda that corollary that when a large field MTT is soft, you need even more luck, because folks don't make proper folds when you want them to, sometimes.

9:42pm - Just broke the money bubble in both Daily Doubles, on the same hand. Still involved in both, with a roughly 1/2 way stack in both. Yay for double cashes.

However, I once again got 2-outed, this time in the Bodog $6k, for what would have been about a top 25 stack. Short stacked, but still alive.

10:16pm - At 3rd break, I'm still kicking. Was shortest stack left in Daily Double B until last hand before break, when I shoved over MP raiser with KJ soooted. He called, and his 22 fell to a flopped K (with gratuitous K on turn). Right now, I'm sitting 57th of 79 in Daily Double A, and 55th of 62 in Daily Double B, so I'm rather short. However, I'm scanning the lists, and thinking I might actually have a shot at best double cash finish.

Still kicking in the Bodog $6k, too, but really short, about 2.5 tables from the bubble. Looking to double up.

10:28 pm - Well, out 72nd in Daily Double A. I called a pf small blind minraise from the BB with KQ, and loved the Q high flop. Hated that it was 3 spades, but when the SB shoved, I put him on a steal. I was right, sorta. He flopped over JJ, but one was a spade. No spade...he hit the J on the river (of course). So it was kinda sorta a 2-outer, but not really.

10:32pm - Aaaaaaaand, out 45th in Daily Double B. Shoved ATo, called by 66 and 88, and didn't hit. We'll see if average finish of 58.5 holds up, but I rather doubt it. Not a terrible cash, at any rate. Should clear about 3.5x above the total buyin.

10:37pm - Oh yeah, still alive in the Bodog $6k. We're at break, three spots from money, and I'm sitting 27th of 39, but really, there's about 8-10 of us within a BB or so, which means cashing, or getting off bottom cash, is going to be tough.

11:02pm - Down to 25 players in Bodog $6k, I'm sitting around 15th in chips. Picked up a couple of nice pots, but didn't get paid when I raised AA only 2.5x from button. Oh well. Still, any time I come back from a small stack, and even break bubble near bottom yet move up a tier or two, it's gotta be a small victory. Let's see if I can keep going...

11:15pm - Doubled up, QQ held against AK (raised 4x BB and called a shove). 19 players left, I'm sitting 6th in chips.

11:21pm - KK on the button. Mid position raised about 3.5x BB (half their stack), I 3bet, they shoved tiny bit more, I called. KK > AK (whew). Starting to run good after those early 2-out shenanigans on Bodog. 4th of 16.

11:34pm - Wow. Chipleader with 12 left.

11:40pm - Starting final table 3rd of 9. Had to fold to a resteal a couple hands ago.

11:58pm - Out in 8th. So disappointing. Had to fold two entire orbits (sliding to 7th of 8), then shoved a MP raise out of the SB with ATcc. Called by AQo. Two clubs on flop, but no more help. Yet another final table failure, dammit. So disappointing. Even worse, players dropped in each of the next two hands, and I could have doubled my payout just by being ubertight. But that's not the way to win a final table now, is it.

This Just In...

My trial during June has been moved to August.

This means...BLOGGER WEEKEND!

Anyone wanna send me details? Where's everyone staying? I know there's no organized blogger tourney, but I'd love to play one of the Venetian deep stacks, and may be no where near the Rio, most likely.

The Good Doctor Mondo wants to come, too.

I still don't know 100% if I *will* be coming, but at least now I can actually seriously consider the possibility, if flights/hotels are reasonable enough.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Wanna Laugh Your Ass Off?

Go to a Margaret Cho show, thassall I'm saying.

Margaret Cho has long been one of my favorite comedians (same for the Good Doctor Mondo), but watching her last DVD release, Notorious, was really an exercise in frustration. Cho had pretty much left the comedy behind, and instead was heavily into what seemed like social preachiness. But not last night.

Her Denver tour stop was nothing short of hilarious. I never knew that Olivia-Newton John was considered the Dalai Lama of fag hags. I don't think we stopped laughing for any longer than it took to set up a joke. The difference in "feeling entertained" quotient between last night's show and our recent Lampanelli experience couldn't be more stark.

Really, unless you're to the right of shotgun-wielding Dickie Cheney, if Margaret Cho brings her "Beautiful" tour to your town, go. Just go. She's really re-affirmed her spot on the A-list of American standup comedy.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot -- this is still sort of a poker blog. Played a couple of tourneys yesterday, and did not do so well. I have to stop playing the FullTilt $10+1 90 players turbo SNGs. After taking down the first ever one I've played, I've now gone about 20 without so much as a cash. High variance, and my roll really isn't quite built for them.

The fun part was the $5.50 Limit Omaha Hi/Lo MTT that started with about 90 runners. I expected it to play a wee bit faster than it did, and at the 2nd break, I had to shut off my computer to head out for the Cho show. At the time, there were 18 players left, 9 payout spots, and I'm on a 7th place stack. I don't know how long the tourney ran, but probably some time during the opening act, I blinded off my final chips to 9th place. Getting paid without playing, yeah.

The moral of that story is I can make more money playing poker by...uh...not playing poker?

Finally, don't forget, Buddy Dank Radio is broadcasting live from the Borgata for the next three days. Check it out and listen here!