Where We Learn About Software Updates the Fun Way, and Pending Arrivals

I guess sometime in the maybe-recent past, Full Tilt Poker implemented a chopping feature? Duh. I would have never guessed, as I hadn't made a final table on that site in about a year. I honestly had no idea whatsoever that FTP had implemented this feature in their software.

It's actually a pretty neat feature, as it allows chops based on ICM, or chips, or a custom amount, and players have to click whether or not to accept.

Anyway, I got to see it in action first hand, when my opponent and I did a straight 50/50 chops once head up in last night's $5 Limit O8 tourney. Sweet. At one point with four left, I had about 75% of the chips in play, but finally managed to start running badly, and my HU opponent ended up knocking out the two short stacks. I still started HU play with a 2.5:1 chip lead, but with blinds at 6,000/12,000, I only had to lose one pot for us to have virtually identical chipstacks, so the split down the middle was appropriate, especially in a four card game where a single river can turn a scoop into a "ZOMG how did I lose that hand?!?!?".

At least now, I have enough of a Full Tilt teeny tiny roll to not have to avoid logging on there (especially as Bodog's "random" number generator continues to treat me as if I were on my way to a leper colony. And the overall roll (split amongst three sites) is as healthy as its been all year...no real complaints.

Well, except for losing to the river three outer on the final table bubble of Stars' $3.30 triple shootout...everyone else was waiting for our table to finish, and HU took about 20 hands...had him right in my sights to have 95% of the chips, and someone flicked the doomswitch. Ah well.

Tonight is the Good Doctor Mondo's birthday. We had a small informal party for her at the hospital last weekend, but tonight it will just be the two of us, and some takeout Bonefish Grill...possibly while watching some of ESPN's final table coverage, who knows?

The one thing we do know is her hospitalization is coming closer to a close, and we couldn't be happier, though I'm really quite nervous about it. You see, the return home may not ultimately be because she's ready...but because her rehab hospital insurance benefit runs out 11 days from now. Fucking insurance companies. She's had some relatively minor issues (at least in light of everything else that has gone on) slow down her rehab and therapy over the last week, and I'm really concerned that when she's forced home, she would not have been able to have met the goals set out for her in rehab.

Nevertheless, we celebrate those things that we can, and today, my darling turns 40. There were times this year when I wasn't certain I'd ever be able to say this, but I can say to her now, "Happy Birthday Jenn, I love you."

After Three Plus Years...

...and nearly 1300 tournaments, I've finally achieved Waffles status on PokerStars (check the ROI)

Like Crack On A Chipstack

Given recent developments in my family situation and schedule...well, playing MTTs like I've always enjoyed just doesn't seem to fit any more. These days, it's work all day, go to the Good Doctor Mondo's rehabilitation hospital fifty miles away for a few hours, and then finally get home around 9pm or so at night. This is my daily life, at present, and everything else has to work around that schedule.

But there's got to be something more than that, right? How to squeeze in a bit of poker, at least in the couple hours at home between dragging my hang-dog ass in the door, and merciful sleep? How to feed that jones and yet still be able to maintain responsibilities? How to stand being in that outsized house by myself at night, restless at bitter at one's lot in life, and find a way to squeeze in the one solitary activity that pushes all that sad bastard crap aside for a while?

Well, I found the answer over at PokerStars. 180 man, $3.30r turbo SNGs. That's right, rebuy SNGs. Woohoo, with lots of value. Damn, the whole things are over in just over two hours. Of course, variance is high. I manage to play one, sometimes two a night (if they register fast enough), and still get decent sleep. So far, they're not half terrible bankroll builders, as long as you have the discipline to rebuy upfront and not chase a mincash by rebuying 3-4 times afterwards. Of course, always, always take the addon.

Now, this is an entirely different form of poker for me, in some respects, because most players are already into shove-or-fold mode within an hour of the tournament. I've missed out a couple of good late position shove opportunities, probably because of not being particularly well-versed in ICM. But I've managed to cash often enough to make a tiny bit of scratch, and a couple final table appearances haven't hurt.

Typically, I'm in these for only $9 (once in a while I'll do a second rebuy to top off just before the end of the rebuy period, if I'm low enough). And either way, it feels like getting a lot of poker for the money because even when I don't cash, I'm going out anywhere from, say, 25th to 40th place, and outlasting enough of the field for it to truly be bedtime at the end.

Played one of these last night, and finished 3rd, for a nice chunk of change. Sadly, went out when AT couldn't fade A9, when winning that hand would have given me and the chipleader equal stacks, and leaving villian with about one BB. Even going out 2nd would have been worth another one-fiddy. Hope to actually take one of these down, it's been a while since I've been able to get heads-up in a relatively decent sized field.

At least it's helping me overcome the life-tilt that has been Bodog's 11:30pm EST $2k guarantee turbo. Won some nice stakes in that tourney over time, but I swear I've been knocked out early the last ten or so times I've played this thing. In fact, my Bodog $Ts are completely gone, so I'm spending a lot less time on that site. Their RNG hates me these days with a passion in a way I'm not sure even Fraud Tilt Poker's ever had for me.

May you find the felt to your liking.

When Being A Calling Station Pays

PokerStars Game #34633944073: Tournament #206545239, $3.00+$0.30 USD Hold'em No Limit - Level XX (700/1400) - 2009/10/28 20:49:20 MT [2009/10/28 22:49:20 ET]
Table '206545239 8' 4-max Seat #1 is the button
Seat 1: nerv1 (26823 in chips)
Seat 2: Mondogarage (83670 in chips)
Seat 3: Thxalot (102091 in chips)
Seat 4: ironrat317 (34156 in chips)
nerv1: posts the ante 175
Mondogarage: posts the ante 175
Thxalot: posts the ante 175
ironrat317: posts the ante 175
Mondogarage: posts small blind 700
Thxalot: posts big blind 1400
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Mondogarage [Ac Qc]
ironrat317: folds
nerv1: folds
Mondogarage: raises 2800 to 4200
Thxalot: raises 7000 to 11200
Mondogarage: calls 7000
*** FLOP *** [2c Kh Kc]
Mondogarage: checks
Thxalot: bets 8800 (could be a value bet with a K, or protecting less than nut flush draw? pocket pair?)
Mondogarage: calls 8800 (why not, I do have nut flush draw)
*** TURN *** [2c Kh Kc] [3h]
Mondogarage: bets 8400 (okay, time to protect my flush draw now)
Thxalot: raises 8400 to 16800 (okay, he's gotta have a K, right?)
Mondogarage: calls 8400
*** RIVER *** [2c Kh Kc 3h] [9c] (not the nuts, but a lowercase yahtzee?)
Mondogarage: bets 7000 (trying to induce a raise here)
Thxalot: raises 53200 to 60200 (hmm...tell me he didn't play 99, plz)
Mondogarage: calls 39695 and is all-in (in for a penny, in for a pound)
Uncalled bet (13505) returned to Thxalot
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Thxalot: shows [6c 4d] (a pair of Kings) (holy CRAPTASTIC stone cold bluff)
Mondogarage: shows [Ac Qc] (a flush, Ace high) (thank you, come again!)
Mondogarage collected 167690 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 167690 | Rake 0
Board [2c Kh Kc 3h 9c]
Seat 1: nerv1 (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: Mondogarage (small blind) showed [Ac Qc] and won (167690) with a flush, Ace high
Seat 3: Thxalot (big blind) showed [6c 4d] and lost with a pair of Kings
Seat 4: ironrat317 folded before Flop (didn't bet)

That hand ended up setting me up for a really deep run in what was, I think, a 1000 player tournament. What even made this better was that at one point, a short bit before the money bubble, I was in the BB holding 52o, with less than one BB behind, when UTG raised and everyone else folded. I thought, fuck it, I got nothing left, and I'd be headsup either totally crushed, or with two live cards. So I called, and he flipped up something like AT or AJ. Flop comes A34 rainbow, and BOOM! I survived. And then thrived, big time.

Weird spot...with five tables (20 players) left, four of the top six stacks were all at the same table. All the chips. I came into that table 3rd in chips.

It was a real chance to make hay, and the tourney winner really would have been expected to come from us four.

Of course, I went out 15th, when small blind caught his OESD on the turn. (I was holding TPTK, and he waited to raise me all in until the river. Meh. Still, given the comeback, I could go away sorta happy.

"On the Road Again"

...I just can't wait to get on the road again...

Wow. I was just getting ready to write about how it sometimes feels as if the healing process never, ever, ever gets there...when I get a phone call from the Good Doctor Mondo, telling me that tomorrow, we once again move her. This time, from a long term acute care hospital, to a rehabilitation hospital in northern Colorado.

This is simply wonderful news!

When I was touring the various rehab hospitals last week, one of the main points I took from them was that the average length of stay is along the lines of 14-21 days or so. Undoubtedly, this is in large part due to the thieves who run our insurance companies (don't worry, theirs is coming soon...). But the upshot of that is that there is now a high likelihood of the Good Doctor Mondo coming home in time for Thanksgiving.

Believe me, we will be giving thanks this year. For many many things. But perhaps simply for the very instance of the occasion most of all.

As for last night's pokering...that's a subject better left unsaid. Gawd I can be a donk sometimes, and my inability to fold TT on an 8-high board cost me a top 20 stack in the Bodog $50+5 10k guarantee after 2/3 of the field were gone...oh yeah, let's keep that unsaid.

"Satellite Of Love"

Continuing the short-run of song titled posts...ah, who am I kidding, that could end as soon as I reach the end of my short leashed creativity tether.

But have I mentioned how much I love Bodog's $Ts satellites? Because I do. I do, I tells ya. Yes, yes, they can get quite frustrating at times, when you run 3-4 of them, which typically pay only one or two spots, and you finish 3rd or 4th in all of them. But when you win a couple...wow, certainly makes up for it.

Had a nice run the other day, winning three in a row. Two were $16 buyins, the other a $7r, but the end result of the three was a net gain of around $430T. Sweet. Maybe, just maybe, one of these days I'll take the plunge into the $100k (with juicy overlay) that these satellites feed in to. I think I'd first like to reach a point where the buyin is no more than 10% of my Bodog roll. And no, we're not there yet. Perhaps 2/3 of the way there, but not there just yet.

In the meantime, I'll keep taking a few shots at their $30-50 buyins, but my last two attempts at the $30 3k guarantee have gone down in flames to early donktardo play by villians that have gotten horribly rewarded on the river, such as calling into my PF, flop, and turn all-in bets (with me holding JJ) on boards with nothing but rainbow number cards with KQo, only to hit the Q on the river. Pretty gross, but when you're buying in with $Ts, the loss is easier to chalk up to the value of getting great notes on a fish. Well, sometimes.

On a similar note, I followed my own head, as well as the advice of a couple quality bloggers (as well as Tycou, whose blog I can't find), and cashed out my Sunday Million ticket for the $Ts. Now that I've exhausted the $T216 from that win, I can report that the overall results were...well, let's just say Waffles-like. That is to say, pretty much break even. I'll take it, I suppose...over a series of SNGs, and a decent cash in a $3r 180-man, the tournament bucks became right around the same amount in cold. hard. cash.

So overall, poker's actually been pretty good to me these days. Except on Full Tilt, of course, where I don't think I've cashed since...oh...2002, it feels like.

Taking a hospital night off, and rehearsal's bumped to Thursday. Aaaaand, one of my two blog sponsors re-upped for another 90 days (thus dropping a few $$$ into my FTP account), so I should actually be able to play the Skillz game tonight. Of course, it's on Full Trashmondo Poker, so my money is dead before I even register for it. Tonight it's PL Omatard Hi, which makes the previous sentence triply true. So join in for shenanigans, won't ya?

Surreality - Part 1

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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