To be honest, my head just wasn't really in it. Last night's tourneys, that is.
(That's not why I didn't run deep, I just played poorly, but played poorly, in part, because of an inability to focus.)
Unlike RecessRampage (who seems to love his job), I'm really pretty damn miserable in mine right now, and recent events are really exacerbating things for me. Do you ever feel trapped in a game where the rules change arbitrarily and you have no impact or influence on them, yet are responsible for the results? That pretty much describes how I feel, and I don't see any way out. I feel like I'm paying for someone's previous decisions that were either poorly thought out or poorly executed, and that when someone says "oh, just do [xyz]", they have no appreciation not only for the hours that entails on my end, but what that means with regard to cases on my docket that they aren't on.
Don't get me wrong...I understand. It's not any attorney's job to worry about what's on another attorney's docket. It's only their job to worry about their docket dates getting met, and getting their product out the door. I get that. But when you're in the midst of a true clusterfuck document production (not in size, but in the rampantly unnecessary duplicated acts, waiting on others, poor direction following by vendors, etc.), while at the same time needed to be in full trial prep mode for another case where you're leaving town for trial in less than three weeks, and the attorneys on the two cases are not the same...just fuckitol, ya know?
Anyway, I'm stuck, because I don't know how to do anything else for a living. And no, I'm not going to play professional pokerz. I've been a paralegal for nearly 20 years, and I'm not about to go to law school. I think I'm really good at what I do, and I've worked for some of the largest and best firms in the country. This is what I do, and this is what I'm going to do tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that, probably until I die of a pressure-induced stroke, or something. But none of that makes me feel any better when the fit's hitting the shan, and you're powerless to change your situation.
Okay, whiny rant mode off.
I'll try to end with something positive. The recent Chesterfield Kings' album I just picked up, "Psychedelic Sunrise", is really fucking good. If you like your rock'n'roll flavored a la Brian Jones'-era Rolling Stones, with a dash of early 70s style, then this record is for you.
No one does truly authentic 6Ts sounds like Chesterfield Kings, other than The Royal Purple, or The Omens, that is.