Monday, November 10, 2008

Got Aloe?

I need something cool and smooth to relieve the pain in my junk. Yeah, my weekend of online poker was truly that bad.

I'm not feeling busto, but losing about 1/4 of your roll solely on tourney buyins, in the span of one weekend, when you're only playing because your spouse is outta town, well, that truly hurts. I thought it would have turned out better, as early on, I won a $15 satellite into the JokerStars $50+5 $70k guarantee. But that was just a cock-tease, really. (And yea, I could have un-registered and kept the fiddy-five, but As was my heads up runner up in the 2nd round of a triple shootout, where the final four players got buyins into the Sunday Million. Used up all my tokens on big Tilt donkaments, and have nothing to show for it.

Really, the entire weekend can be summed up by what took me out of my final tournament. In the Bodog $12r, which I'm into for $36, on the absolute bubble, my shove gets called out of position by someone who calls off 70% of thier chips holding A5o (I'm holding AK sooooted spades)...and after a QQT flop with two spades, giving me broadway, frush, and royal draws), the asshat catches a three-outer five on the river to send me home. That made two tournaments on Bodog in the same weekend where on the absofuckinglute bubble, my early position shove of AK soooted not only gets 3 outed on a river, but in both cases, the only caller was a) out of position on the hand, b) the person couldn't even conceive of having one over at best (we're talking calls with A5o and A3o; and c) the player calls off around 3/4 of their chipstack with such a marginal hand.

In both cases, I was UTG or 2nd to act, with stacks were below average and an M of between 3-4, so I think the shoves were okay in both circumstances. Yes, I would expect a call from anyone holding, say, AA-TT, AK-AQs, to be broad, in this spot. But given my position, and my relative table image, seriously, how does anyone call off that much of their stack off with that crappy a hand? Those players can't think I was open shoving from early position with KJ, QJ, 22 or some other random crap that would make their hands be any more than 30% to win, can they? Really? I just truly do not understand that. And of course, these weren't the $5 tourneys, but the ones I'm in to for $30 bucks or so, which pisses me off more, because my Bodog roll is now under $500 again, and I'm now restricted to playing the micro buy-ins, because a couple of shitbirds with no talent at all an absolute inability to find the "FOLD" button on the bubble, with hands of near zero showdown value knocked me out of my best two chances for build up the roll.

So yeah, Bodog gave me a right kick in the balls all weekend long, but really, every site I played at, it was the same. So atrociously bad. There were a couple of tournaments that I busted out of by semi slow-playing big hands, (as in, not overbetting the pot just to protect AA, when ideally, I'd like one or maybe two players to see a flop with me). But even then, most of the time, it was shitbirds nevertheless calling 2.5x BB sized bets with hands like KJo, and calling down my bullets on each street with two queens on the board. I got knocked out of three consecutive tourneys while holding non-slow played AA -- once by a rivered straight, once by a four flush, and once by a two outer.

Saturday was so gawd-awful bad that I felt I couldn't go up to Blackhawk on Sunday running so bad. So what do I do? That's easy....lose as much of my roll on Sunday as I did on Saturday from the discomfort of my own home, that's what. My roll is now down a full third from it's high a month ago, and I can't remember the last time I actually made a final table, much less a top three. And the few cashes I'm getting are deluged by the number of times I'm finishing just out of the money.

So yeah, I'm hating online poker right now. Enough that I'm considering joining a 2nd band, which would eliminate any time I have to play online. Don't get me wrong, I still have a bit put away on there, but I know I'll just lose it all, it's just a matter of when. I honestly think I'm in the middle of my worst downswing ever. It doesn't matter what buy-in level, what site, whether I'm playing TAG, or whether I'm amping up the aggression. It doesn't matter whether I'm trying to overbet for value, or whether I'm trying to get cute and complete AA from the small blind. It doesn't matter whether I'm firing continuation bets, or playing stop-and-go, or whether I'm making pot-sized, 3/4 post-sized, or minraises with turned nuts. It just. Doesn't. Matter.

Of course, none of this will stop me from playing the Bodonkey events tomorrow, because heck, I'm already registered, and there's a nice overlay. But now, I'm really looking forward to our Thanksgiving trip, and the week before, when I'm out seeing bands four nights straight, and will thus gladly give up my online pokering for the week.

Okay, so enough whining.

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